The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!! NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast!
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”
I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS
HES BREAD JIM
JESUS CRUST
(Source: secretsbest, via ancientmagrathea)
An Angel’s Song
Thats What Started It
This Instant Spark, This Clash Of Feelings
He Was Starting To Warp, Both From Pressure Within And Pressure Without
But Then He Heard Her Song
It Came To Him As Quickly As A flash Of Lightning
Her Voice Cut Into Him Like A Blade Of Sudden Light In The Darkness
He Knew Then, Not Why Or How But Simply That He Would Follow Her
He Felt Them, His Feelings Surging Through Him Like A River Of Lava In His Vains
The Raw Power Of Them So Overwhelming That He Knew Not What To Do With Them
The Raw Power And Passion Were Like A Helix In His Soul
He Knew Then That As No One Doubts The Size Of A Grain Of Sand He Would Never Doubt His Love For Her
But Then He Was Ambushed By The Truth
She Had Lost Faith Long Ago
She Continued Only To Sing Like A Caged Bird
He Decided Then That He Would Be Her Shining Champion
Always There By Her Side To Seek Out And Smite The Evil In Her Life, Until Only Happiness Remained
But Finally He Was Faced With A Choice, Either Tell Her Of His Feelings And Risk Shameful Rejection Or Continue On In Pained Silence
In The End She Chose To Tell Her Of His Feelings
She Gently Let Him Down, Still He Keeps His Mantle
Always There For Her, To Protect Her, And To her Her Angel Song
(Source: iam-paradise, via mychemicaldiscostarkid)
rifa:
Something that I and other people deal with. All I can do is ask for forgiveness and try harder to not let my problems make relationships unbearable to be with.
This except I also lash out sometimes. Boop.
This brought me to tears. This is me. Way too much of me. It tears everything apart. I’m sorry.
(via marvinsroom137)
So, I know that I only have a few followers, but do you ALL really think that you already know EVERYTHING about me already? why does nobody ever ask me anything?